


Moving Day

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [81]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Moving, Multi, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 13:26:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8447659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: johnn: WE FINISHED PACKINGjohnn: TIME TO START OUR LAST NIGHT HEREmore like HUNKules: oh dear god





	

 

 **johnn** : WE FINISHED PACKING  
  
 **johnn** : TIME TO START OUR LAST NIGHT HERE  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : oh dear god  
  
 **laf** : it's the night before our last night though   
  
**johnn** : are you saying you Don't want to have sex with me  
  
 **laf** : no what I'm saying Is I'm a little Hesitant to have sex with you as a result of your apparently secret plans   
  
**johnn** : oh  
  
 **johnn** : well then if you come in our room I can Explain the plans to you and what you do consent to we'll do and what you don't we can exclude without question  
  
 **laf** : thank you  
  
 **johnn** : no problem love  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : aw  
  
 **little lion** : you two are so cute  
  
 **johnn** : you should probably come in here too for the same reason tbh  
  
 **johnn** : even though most parts of it are taken from our private chat so you technically co-planned this night I just want to be Sure  
  
 **little lion** : which conversation is it  
  
 **johnn** : three days ago  
  
 **little lion** : oh shit  
  
 **johnn** : right  
  
 **laf** : I'm so afraid  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : rt  
  
 **little lion** : I mean   
  
**little lion** : how much is off of that conversation  
  
 **johnn** : all of it   
  
**little lion** : I'm fine with it  
  
 **johnn** : are you sure  
  
 **little lion** : completely  
  
 **johnn** : okay   
  
\---  
  
 **little lion** : YOU COULD HAVE LIKE  
  
 **little lion** : INFORMED ME   
  
**johnn** : soRRY  
  
 **johnn** : I was explaining the plan to laf and they basically took the paper that I have bc I'm the cutest most unbelievable person on the planet and speed read through all of it and actually agreed with most of it  
  
 **little lion** : unbelievable   
  
**johnn** : you can still join if you want to~~~~~  
  
 **little lion** : I'm fine  
  
 **johnn** : are you sure  
  
 **little lion** : yes  
  
 **little lion** : also going by the chat you based this off of  
  
 **little lion** : how are you texting me right now  
  
 **johnn** : I'm lafayette  
  
 **little lion** : yeah that makes more sense  
  
 **johnn** : JOHN JSUT BIT ME   
  
**little lion** : please  
  
 **little lion** : we have two more days left in this house  
  
 **little lion** : do not get us another noise complaint  
  
 **johnn** : no promises love ;^)  
  
 **little lion** : HUSH  
  
\---  
  
 **laf** : WHO IS AT THE DOOR  
  
 **laf** : NEVERMIND  
  
 **laf** : JUDGING BY THE WAY YOU SCREAMED ""T H O M A S"" AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS   
  
**laf** : I HAVE A PRETTY GOOD IDEA   
  
**little lion** : IM NOT WEARING PANTS AND YOU THREE ARE BEING INCREDIBLY LOUD  
  
 **little lion** : NOT TO MENTION I APPARENTLY HAVE A DATE TONIGHT   
  
**laf** : you have to unpack our clothes don't you  
  
 **little lion** : I am letting him inside of our house while I do  
  
 **little lion** : please stop moaning   
  
**laf** : fine  
  
 **johnn** : aw alex <3 <3  
  
 **little lion** : don't even  
  
 **little lion** : I'm surprised you're even still on this plane of existence  
  
 **johnn** : I Just got back   
  
**little lion** : jefferson is pretending like he's not staring at my ass while I try to decide at which suitcase to open   
  
**laf** : the red one is most of your stuff   
  
 **laf** : they're all labeled  
  
 **little lion** : I know  
  
 **laf** : then why are you trying to decide  
  
 **little lion** : bc jefferson is pretending like he's not staring at my ass  
  
 **laf** : o h  
  
 **little lion** : for someone who was just in the middle of having sex you're kind of oblivious  
  
 **laf** : it's the Haze babe  
  
 **little lion** : ANYWAY  
  
\---  
  
 **little lion** : hercules can I wear your sweater on this date   
  
**more like HUNKules** : which one  
  
 **little lion** : it's blue, really soft, could be a dress on me if I was confident enough for it   
  
**little lion** : it has like a white stripe on the bottom and like on the sleeves??  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : could it be considered ugly if you don't have a very specific fashion sense  
  
 **little lion** : yes  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : yeah you can wear it  
  
 **little lion** : thanks love!!  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : no problem!!  
  
\---  
  
 **macaroni fUCK** : what are they dOING  
  
 **little lion** : each other  
  
 **little lion** : or rather they were and then you got here and I made them stop to spare you the trauma but apparently that didn't work  
  
 **macaroni fUCK** : it,,,really didn't  
  
 **little lion** : sorry??  
  
 **macaroni fUCK** : I would say it's fine but like   
  
**little lion** : understandable  
  
 **little lion** : I'm still driving there btw don't think I forgot what I said  
  
 **macaroni fUCK** : I didn't think you would  
  
 **macaroni fUCK** : I had james drop me off anyway  
  
 **little lion** : aw  
  
 **little lion** : I'm going to go kiss my spouses goodbye just stay here   
  
**macaroni fUCK** : okay  
  
 **little lion** : and don't look inside our bedroom  
  
 **macaroni fUCK** : oh god  
  
\---  
  
 **little lion** : SORRY SORRY SORRY THEY STARTED CRYING OVER HOW CUTE I LOOK IN THIS SWEATER  
  
 **macaroni fUCK** : to be fair they're not wrong  
  
 **little lion** : aw  
  
 **little lion** : wait why is your jaw dropped like that  
  
 **macaroni fUCK** : no reason,,,,,  
  
 **little lion** : you looked in our bedroom didn't you   
  
**macaroni fUCK** : IT WASNT ON PURPOSE   
  
**little lion** : oh my god  
  
 **macaroni fUCK** : okay but seriously   
  
**macaroni fUCK** : how are you even alive bc l i k e  
  
 **little lion** : WE ARE N O T HAVING THIS DISCUSSION NOW OR ANY TIME EVER IN THE DISTANT OR NEAR FUTURE   
  
**macaroni fUCK** : that's,,,,,fair  
  
 **little lion** : RIGHT NOW LETS GO  
  
 **macaroni fUCK** : OKAY  
  
\---  
  
 **little lion** : I AM WALKING DOWN THE STAIRS I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS   
  
**more like HUNKules** : ???  
  
 **little lion** : SO YOU KNOW HOW I BARELY CLOSED THE DOOR AND YOU WERE LIKE TELL JEFFERSON NOT TO LOOK   
  
**johnn** : n o  
  
 **little lion** : HE DIDNT LISTEN   
  
**laf** : I am going to die here  
  
 **johnn** : no wait what were his thoughts  
  
 **little lion** : WHY ARE YALL LIKE THIS  
  
 **little lion** : oh we're holding hands now this is different  
  
 **little lion** : ANYWAY  
  
 **little lion** : HE WAS SHOCKED I GUESS??  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : in what way  
  
 **little lion** : O H M Y GOD  
  
 **little lion** : HE ASKED ME HOW I WAS STILL ALIVE  
  
 **johnn** : N I C E   
  
**little lion** : I WANT A DIVORCE  
  
 **laf** : H A  
  
\---  
  
 **macaroni fUCK** : I JUST SAW THREE PEOPLE NAKED  
  
 **jmadzzz** : like randomly or??  
  
 **macaroni fUCK** : LAURENS, MULLIGAN, AND LAFAYETTE  
  
 **jmadzzz** : OH  
  
 **jmadzzz** : thoughts?  
  
 **macaroni fUCK** : I seriously do not know how I am the one depicted as immature in our relationship  
  
 **jmadzzz:** this is a scientific inquiry   
  
**macaroni fUCK** : yeah sure it is  
  
 **jmadzzz** : you didn't answer the question  
  
 **macaroni fUCK** : I was reasonably shocked  
  
 **macaroni fUCK** : kind of terrified  
  
 **macaroni fUCK** : mainly kind of impressed by the fact that alex just walked in the room and talked to them as if they weren't in the middle of fucking each other  
  
 **jmadzzz** : I notice how you casually avoided expressing any opinion  
  
 **macaroni fUCK** : BC THATS WEIRD  
  
 **jmadzzz** : okay okay true  
  
 **jmadzzz** : wait aren't you in the car with alex?? are you just not talking to each other??  
  
 **macaroni fUCK** : yes I am and no bc he's driving and humming and he looks really cute and I don't want him to stop  
  
 **jmadzzz** : that's adorable  
  
 **jmadzzz** : I have to go now have fun on your date  
  
 **macaroni fUCK** : not to be That Person but ??? you told me you were just going home???  
  
 **jmadzzz** : bye  
  
 **macaroni fUCK** : ??????  
  
\---  
  
 **little lion** : if I lose this fucking game I'm going to light myself on fire  
  
 **laf** : are you losing??  
  
 **little lion** : we're tied  
  
 **laf** : oh shit  
  
 **little lion** : are you done sinning  
  
 **laf** : we're taking a Break  
  
 **laf** : I have been assigned Water Person bc john is so fucking dazed that he can barely move and when he tries it's like v e r y  s l o w l y  
  
 **laf** : and hercules just doesn't want to get up  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : he's like the turtle from finding nemo  
  
 **johnn** : d u d e  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : it took him thirty seconds to type that  
  
 **little lion** : oh dear god  
  
 **little lion** : HES COMING BACK I HAVE TO G O  
  
 **laf** : bye love!!  
  
 **little lion** : BYE  
  
\---  
  
 **little lion** : BRINGING BACK THE GROUP CHAT AGAIN BC I NEED TO G L O A T  
  
 **jmadzzz** : I'm assuming thomas lost terribly  
  
 **little lion** : 127-86  
  
 **little lion** : IM YE LL I N G  
  
 **laf** : SO PROUD OF MY HUSBAND RN  
  
 **johnn** : RT  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : RT  
  
 **little lion** : THANKS LOVES  
  
 **macaroni fUCK** : ABSOLUTELY RUDE  
  
 **little lion** : DONT BE BITTER  
  
 **macaroni fUCK** : TOO L A T E  
  
 **little lion** : H A   
  
**macaroni fUCK** : REMATCH  
  
 **little lion** : FINE BUT YOURE NOT GONNA WIN  
  
 **macaroni fUCK** : LETS SEE  
  
 **laf** : honestly?? the tension is rising  
  
 **little lion** : HUSH  
  
\---  
  
 **little lion** : 114-72  
  
 **macaroni fUCK** : F U C K   
  
**laf** : AMAZING  
  
 **jmadzzz** : I want a divorce  
  
 **macaroni fUCK** : RUDE  
  
\---  
  
 **little lion** : are y'all done  
  
 **johnn** : y e ah   
  
**little lion** : are you still out of it  
  
 **johnn** : lil bit  
  
 **little lion** : I just dropped thomas off  
  
 **johnn** : we'll change the sheets again before you get back  
  
 **little lion** : thank you   
  
**johnn** : I love you   
  
**little lion** : I love you too!!  
  
 **little lion** : I'm abt to drive home now so I gotta go   
  
**johnn** : bye!!  
  
\---  
  
 **laf** : I'm not over how cute you look in that sweater  
  
 **little lion** : hUSH  
  
 **johnn** : RT I MEAN LOOK AT YOU  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : THE JEANS, THE SWEATER, THE CUTE BUN   
  
**laf** : THE SWE AT ER  PA W S  
  
 **johnn** : THE CUTE GIGGLY THING YOURE DOING RN BC WERE SCREAMING OVER HOW CUTE YOU ARE  
  
 **laf** : HOW SOFTLY YOU KISS JOHN WHEN HE SITS AT THE EDGE OF OUR BED AND PULLS YOU TO HIM  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : THE SWE A T ER PAW S X2 WHEN YOU TRY TO HOLD JOHNS FACE IN YOUR HANDS BUT YOU CANT BC OF THEM  
  
 **laf** : IM GONNA DIE HERE  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : RT  
  
\---  
  
 **little lion** : ITS HALLOWEEN!!!  
  
 **laf** : SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS   
  
**johnn** : IT IS MIDNIGHT  
  
 **laf** : YOUR POINT  
  
 **johnn** : I WILL C U T YOUR ARMS OFF  
  
 **laf** : F I N E  
  
\---  
  
 **little lion** : HALLOWEEN!!!  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : DUSTIN IS COMING TO PICK UP HIS COSTUME TODAY  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : THE FORTUNATO PERSON CAME ON FRIDAY  
  
 **laf** : OMG TELL US WHAT HE THINKS OF IT WHEN HE GETS IT  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : I WILL  
  
 **johnn** : Y E S  
  
 **little lion** : WAIT WHAT DID THE FORTUNATO PERSON SAY  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : O H HE WAS LIKE YES YES THIS IS PERFECT  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : AND I WAS JUST LIKE,,,,I HAVE TO ASK  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : ARE YOU PLANNING TO KILL SOMEONE IN A MONTRESOR COSTUME TO LIKE,,,,FLIP THE STORY  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : AND HE DID THIS WEIRD FUCKING LAUGH AND W O R E  I T  O U T  
  
 **little lion** : OH MY G O D  
  
\---  
  
 **laf** : ALEX WHY DID YOU JUST SCREAM  
  
 **little lion** : JOHN YOU A S S   
  
**johnn** : IM SOTYRYROF  
  
 **little lion** : YOURE FUCKING N O T  
  
 **johnn** : I COULDNT NO T PUT A PLASTIC SKELETON IN YOUR FUCKIGN OFFICE CHAIR  
  
 **little lion** : YOU COULD EASILY NOT HAVE DONE THAT  
  
 **johnn** : HAPPY HALLOWEEN LOVE  
  
 **little lion** : IM GOING TO P U S H YOU DOWN THE ELEVATOR SHAFT  
  
 **johnn** : YOU WOULDNT  
  
 **little lion** : SCARY THINGS HAPPEN ON HALLOWEEN  
  
 **little lion** : SO DONT BE SO SURE  
  
 **johnn** : oh god  
  
\---  
  
 **little lion** : bye dears its been fun I have to go fling myself into the sun now  
  
 **johnn** : see I was abt to leave my office but now I'm not sure if I want to  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : ???  
  
 **little lion** : OKAY SO I WAS SITTING IN THE BREAK ROOM ALONE WAITING FOR JOHN AND LAF TO GET HERE  
  
 **little lion** : AND THOMAS WALKS IN AND HE WAS LIKE HI HELLO AND I WAS LIKE OH!! THOMAS!!  
  
 **laf** : this is already cute  
  
 **little lion** : IT GETS BAD JUST WAIT  
  
 **little lion** : AND SO WE'RE LIKE JUST TALKING LIKE CASUALLY   
  
**little lion** : AND HES LIKE FUCK I HAVE A MEETING IN LIKE TWENTY MINUTES I HAVE TO LE AVE  
  
 **little lion** : SO HE LIKE KISSES MY TEMPLE AND IM LIKE DYING BC !!!!!  
  
 **johnn** : and that was a bad thing??  
  
 **little lion** : W A I T  
  
 **johnn** : sorry continue  
  
 **little lion** : AND SO I KISS HIM AND SOMEONE WALKS IN  
  
**little lion** : GUESS WHO FUCKING!! WALKS!! IN!!  
  
 **laf** : oh no  
  
 **little lion** : GEORGE FUKCKCKNFKING WASHINGTON  
  
 **laf** : N O  
  
 **little lion** : SO HE IMMEDIATELY KNOWS THAT ITS THOMAS AND HES LIKE what the fuck are you doing  
  
 **little lion** : LITERALLY IM NOT READY FOR THIS   
  
**little lion** : SO IM LIKE HAHA YEAH IM DATING THOMAS  
  
 **little lion** : AND HE GOES ""did you four all break up???" AND HE LOOKS SO CONCERNED AND IM LIKE SHOCKED BC HE SHOULD KNOW US BETTER BY NOW   
  
**laf** : honestly tbh if we broke up I would need like eight centuries to Heal  
  
 **little lion** : RIG HT LIKE SAME  
  
 **little lion** : AND I WAS LIKE NO AND HE IMMEDIATELY LOOKS LIKE HES GOING TO MURDER ME IN COLD BLOOD SO I GO INTO EXPLAINING THAT YOU ALL KNOW ABOUT IT AND THAT YOURE FINE WITH IT   
  
**little lion** : YOU ARE ALL STILL FINE WITH IT RIGHT  
  
 **laf** : yes  
  
 **johnn** : yes  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : of course love  
  
 **little lion** : just making sure that I keep up the Communication  
  
 **little lion** : AND THEN HE JUST SQUINTS AT ME AND LEAVES  
  
 **little lion** : AND I DONT KNOW WHAT HE EVEN CAME IN THE ROOM FOR BUT I DONT THINK IT MATTERS ANYMORE  
  
 **johnn** : AMAZING   
  
**little lion** : AND THEN THOMAS LEFT AND NOW IM JUST WONDERING WHEN MY LIFE BECAME THIS WILD  
  
 **johnn** : IM IN THE ELEVATOR NOW SO ILL BE WITH YOU IN LIKE A MINUTES   
  
**little lion** : YAY!!  
  
\---  
  
 **GWASH** : lafayette  
  
 **laf** : alex told me about your,,,,encounter,,,,with him and jefferson  
  
 **GWASH** : so you do know??  
  
 **laf** : yes we all know and agreed to it   
  
**GWASH** : so are you all dating him??  
  
 **laf** : nO  
  
 **laf** : just alex  
  
 **GWASH** : okay  
  
 **GWASH** : see it's not that I don't trust alex it's just  
  
 **GWASH** : I was worried   
  
**laf** : A W  
  
 **laf** : WASHINGTON C A R E S ABOUT US   
  
**GWASH** : you lived in my house   
  
**GWASH** : twice  
  
 **GWASH** : I thought you would have known that by now  
  
 **laf** : that was a long time ago  
  
 **GWASH** : I'm going to leave now  
  
 **laf** : lmao bye  
  
\---  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : DUSTIN SCREAMED WHEN HE SAW IT   
  
**more like HUNKules** : I GOT TO MEET HIS SISTER DRESSED AS A BUSHEL OF APPLES   
  
**laf** : AW  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : SHE GAVE ME ONE OF THE LITTLE STUFFED APPLES IN HER COSTUME AND ITS V CUTE AND WE'RE PUTTING IT IN OUR NEW HOUSE I SWEAR TO GOD  
  
 **laf** : YOURE SO C UT E  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : IT HAS A LITTLE FACE ON IT AND SHE SIGNED ALL OF THEM JUST IN CASE THEY GET LOST LIKE IM IN TEARS RN  
  
 **laf** : S C RME ANSSNKBD;KJG  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : THEN DUSTIN TOLD ME ABT HOW A GIRL IN HIS CLASS IS AGREEING TO GO AS FIONA AND THEYRE GONNA SLAY EVERYONE  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : THERES APPARENTLY LIKE A PUMPKIN CARVING THING AT THEIR SCHOOL TONIGHT IDK IM HAPPY FOR THEM  
  
 **little lion** : TBH FRIENDSHIP GOALS THO??  
  
 **laf** : R I G H T  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : HIS MOM IS HAVING A CONVO WITH ME I HAVE TO GO LOVE YOU   
  
**laf** : LOVE YOU TOO  
  
 **little lion** : LOVE YOU!!  
  
\---  
  
 **laf** : honestly tho?? hercules is going to be such a great dad I'm literally crying  
  
 **little lion** : sAME  
  
 **johnn** : my heart is bURSTING   
  
**laf** : R T  
  
 **little lion** : I LOVE HERCULES SO MUCH OH MY GOD PLEASE KILL ME  
  
**johnn** : SAME IM GOING TO DIE HERE  
  
 **little lion** : RT  
  
 **laf** : RT  
  
\---  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : g u y s  
  
 **laf** : WE LOVE YOU SM  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : I LOVE YOU TOO   
  
**laf** : WERE ALL CRYING IN MY OFFICE NOW BC OF IT I SWEAR TO GOD  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : OH MY G O D  
  
 **laf** : IM SO EMO RN  
  
 **johnn** : SAME  
  
 **little lion** : RT  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : P L E A S E  
  
 **laf** : ONE HOUR UNTIL WE CAN GO HOME   
  
**more like HUNKules** : we have to pack stuff when we can go home  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : and we have to take apart our bedframe  
  
 **laf** : BUT AT LEAST ILL BE ABLE TO K I S S YOU THERE   
  
**more like HUNKules** : okay true true  
  
 **laf** : AH   
  
**more like HUNKules** : I love you  
  
 **laf** : I LOVE YOU TOO  
  
 **little lion** : LOVE YOU HERCULES  
  
 **johnn** : LOVE YOU  
  
\---  
  
 **laf** : HOME HOME HOME HOME   
  
**little lion** : want one of us to drive  
  
 **laf** : NOPE ITS FINE IM GOOD  
  
 **johnn** : I took your keys ten minutes ago I'm not letting you drive home   
  
**laf** : RUDE  
  
 **johnn** : YOU ARE LIKE B O U N C IN G  
  
 **laf** : ALEX DOES IT  
  
 **johnn** : yeah but when alex does it it's bc he loves us and when you do it it's bc you're v !!! and will probably crash the car  
  
 **laf** : right right right  
  
 **laf** : sorry alex I love you and when you do the thing when you talk to us it's very cute and I love it sorry  
  
 **little lion** : it's fine love   
  
**laf** : <3 <3 <3  
  
 **little lion** : <3 <3 <3   
  
\---  
  
 **laf** : OUR BEDFRAME IS D E A D   
  
**johnn** : I   
  
**johnn** : we go pick up food for half an hour and you just  
  
 **laf** : multitasking   
  
**johnn** : n o ?   
  
**laf** : anyway after we eat I thought you would want to start our Actual last night here   
  
**little lion** : he just visibly shivered  
  
 **laf** : aren't you driving   
  
**little lion** : no we're leaving the chinese food place rn and john is driving   
  
**johnn** : since when??  
  
 **little lion** : since I paid  
  
**johnn** : WOW  
  
\---  
  
 **johnn** : I really hate driving our car  
  
 **laf** : why omg  
  
 **johnn** : BC USUALLY YOU DRIVE SO WHEN I GET IN THE CAR THERE HAS TO BE LIKE A FIVE MINUTE INTERMISSION IN WHICH I STRUGGLE TO PUSH MY SEAT UP ENOUGH FOR ME TO BE ABLE TO EVEN R E A CH THE STEERING WHEEL WITHOUT STRAINING   
  
**laf** : I  
  
 **johnn** : AND ITS JSUT A SHAMEFUL EXPERIENCE THAT I DONT LIKE LIVING   
  
**laf** : /I/   
  
**johnn** : ALSO WE'RE HOME NOW  
  
 **laf** : BLESS  
  
\---  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : was that  
  
 **little lion** : y e s  
  
 **johnn** : they're?? banging on the ceiling?? with a broom??  
  
 **laf** : or something broom like???  
  
 **little lion** : DO YOU SEE WHY I TELL YOU TO NOT BE SO LOUD NOW  
  
 **johnn** : it's our last night here what are they gonna do  
  
 **johnn** : evict us??  
  
 **laf** : right right  
  
 **little lion** : it stopped  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : did someone just fucking knock on our door  
  
 **laf** : s h i t  
  
\---  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : I CANT BELIEVE WE JUST DID THAT  
  
 **johnn** : THAT WAS SO FUNYNNYNYNNYN  
  
 **little lion** : wHAT DID YOU DO   
  
**johnn** : SO BASICALLY WE'RE STILL MOSTLY NAKED AND WHAT WE DO HAVE ON DOESNT COVER WHAT IT NEEDS TO   
  
**johnn** : AND WE OPEN THE DOOR AND THERES JUST TWO MIDDLE AGED PEOPLE WHO ARE HOLDING HANDS LOOKING STRESSED AS SHIT FOR NO FUCKING REASON   
  
**johnn** : AND THEY LOOK AT US AND THEIR JAWS JUST D R O P   
  
**little lion** : well judging by what you were wearing when you left the room I would be starstruck too  
  
 **johnn** : HUSH  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : honestly too many people outside of our marriage have seen us naked in the past two days  
  
 **johnn** : RT  
  
 **laf** : you're not even totally naked  
  
 **johnn** : ANYWAY  
  
 **johnn** : AND THEYRE LIKE """WE KNOW WHAT YOURE DOING AND WE JUST WANT TO SAY WE DONT APPROVE""" AND BASICALLY IM SO READY TO KILL  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : SO BASICALLY I HAVE TO PHYSICALLY RESTRAIN JOHN FROM FUCKING LUNGING AT THESE PEOPLE   
  
**more like HUNKules** : WHICH WASNT A GOOD IDEA BC THERE WAS,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,FRICTION  
  
 **little lion** : oh dear god  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : AND BASICALLY THATS THE STORY OF HOW I MOANED OUT LOUD IN FRONT OF TWO OFFENDED STRANGERS  
  
 **johnn** : AND THEN I WENT "I have to go take care of this,,,,bye" AND SLAMMED THE DOOR CLOSED  
  
 **little lion** : that was an amazing story but like can you come here so we can continue what we were doing  
  
 **johnn** : we're on our way  
  
 **little lion** : perfect  
  
\---  
  
 **little lion** : TIME TO MOVE!!!  
  
 **laf** : you're crying dear  
  
 **little lion** : our first house!!  
  
 **little lion** : I don't care what you say this is our first house I'm not accepting the other one   
  
**johnn** : ""the other one""  
  
 **little lion** : hercules wasn't in the other one!! our family wasn't complete!!   
  
**more like HUNKules** : we're your family??  
  
 **little lion** : of course you are  
  
 **laf** : you're crying harder now  
  
 **little lion** : o ur f ir st house!!   
  
**little lion** : we were so young when we moved in here and now I'm like 80 and all of you are 27!!!  
  
 **johnn** : aw love  
  
 **little lion** : it's fine!! I'm fine!!   
  
**johnn** : <3 <3 <3  
  
 **little lion** : <3 <3 <3  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : you're my family  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : I love you all so much  
  
 **little lion** : we love you too hercules!!  
  
 **laf** : love you hercules!!  
  
 **johnn** : love you!!  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : family  
  
\---  
  
 **laf** : just called our new landlord to make sure everything is okay and we're all set to move in!!  
  
 **laf** : also apparently we could've gotten our keys like when we talked to them earlier??  
  
 **johnn** : amazing   
  
**laf** : so like wanna drive over now and start moving some of the smaller boxes and stuff??  
  
 **johnn** : yes!!  
  
 **little lion** : me and hercules are going to stay here and pack all of our stuff that we couldn't pack  
  
 **little lion** : like the four bottles of toothpaste that we refused to put in the bathroom box bc we refused to compromise  
  
 **laf** : I don't trust crest I am strictly a colgate person  
  
 **johnn** : literally tho crest is cute let it live  
  
 **laf** : its nOT  
  
 **johnn** : WERE NOT HAVING THIS ARGUMENT AGAIN  
  
 **laf** : F I N E  
  
\---  
  
 **little lion** : the moving people are here and they're like reaLLY NICE  
  
 **johnn** : we leave to carry boxes down to the car for TWO MINUTES  
  
 **laf** : I want to bake them cookies   
  
**little lion** : little weird laf  
  
 **laf** : oh honey I don't care  
  
 **little lion** : have you ever called me honey before  
  
 **laf** : maybe?? why   
  
**little lion** : I like it  
  
 **laf** : oh!!   
  
**little lion** : js  
  
 **laf** : noted  
  
 **laf** : but seriously  
  
 **laf** : cookies  
  
 **little lion** : l a f  
  
 **laf** : c o o k i e s   
  
\---  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : WE OFFICIALLY LIVE HERE!!  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : WHERE ARE YOU  
  
 **johnn** : me and alex are still in the car bc we just handed our keys back to miss kortright and he's still crying about it  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : I'll miss her  
  
 **little lion** : I won't but I'll miss our apartment  
  
 **little lion** : our new landlord is nice and doesn't scare me   
  
**johnn** : I  
  
\---  
  
 **laf** : TIME TO UNPACK OUR BEDROOM!!!  
  
 **johnn** : OH GOD  
  
\---  
  
 **laf** : okay so like I think I should bring this up now bc idk when else I would   
  
**laf** : yknow how you said I could decorate the house??  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : yeah  
  
 **johnn** : yes  
  
 **little lion** : oui  
  
 **laf** : well I do have a plan for it,,,,,and it involves investing in outdoor furniture,,,,,but I just want to ask if that's still Happening  
  
 **johnn** : of course!!  
  
 **laf** : reALLY??  
  
 **laf** : BC I HAVE LIKE   
  
**laf** : A VISION  
  
 **laf** : AND I KIND OF THINK YOURE GOING TO HATE IT  
  
 **little lion** : we're not gonna hate it!!  
  
 **laf** : no you don't understand  
  
 **laf** : I have like color coded lists for each room  
  
**laf** : that's how important this is to me  
  
 **little lion** : and john is now crying  
  
 **johnn** : TODAY IS SUCH A CRYING DAY  
  
 **johnn** : I LOVE LAF SO MUCH LIKE DHFSJKFH   
  
**johnn** : L I S T S   
  
**johnn** : THATS SO C U T E  
  
 **laf** : SOMEONE COME HERE AND LOOK AT THESE  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : COMING!!  
  
\---  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : THESE ARE SO CUTE WERE GONNA HAVE THE NICEST HOUSE EVER  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : LAF IS SO GOOD AT THIS I LOVE THEM  
  
 **laf** : IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE THEM I WASNT SURE  
  
 **more** like HUNKules: OF COURSE WE WERE GOING TO LIKE THEM   
  
**more like HUNKules** : WE LOVE YOU  
  
 **laf** : !!!  
  
\---  
  
 **little lion** : our bed isn't even put back together yet but we're still taking the time to put the lube drawer back in perfect order  
  
 **johnn** : honestly?? if my spine wasn't snapped in two for like the past two days I would be Affected by this  
  
 **little lion** : it's not like you haven't seen any of these things before  
  
 **johnn** : I know but like,,,,,I'm remembering,,,,,the scenarios,,,,,in which,,,,,these things were,,,,present,,,,,and I'm,,,,,,,responding,,,,,  
  
 **little lion** : jesus  
  
 **johnn** : wanna make out  
  
 **little lion** : what happened to your spine hurting??  
  
 **johnn** : it's worth it  
  
 **little lion** : hard pass  
  
 **johnn** : that's not all thats harksdhfl;ksrh  
  
 **little lion** : SNATCHED  
  
\---  
  
 **laf** : OUR BED IS PUT TOGETHER!!  
  
 **laf** : IM SO TIRED LETS GET LUNCH  
  
 **johnn** : IM DOWN  
  
 **little lion** : technically I am  
  
 **laf** : THATS WHAT YOURE DOING IN THE BATHROOM??  
  
 **johnn** : ,,,,,  
  
 **johnn** : no??  
  
 **laf** : B Y E  
  
 **laf** : ME AND HERCULES ARE GOING TO GET LUNCH WE'LL BRING YOU FOOD BACK   
  
**johnn** : thank you  
  
 **laf** : have fun??  
  
 **johnn** : you know we will  
  
\---  
  
 **little lion** : I really don't like this  
  
 **laf** : you're setting up our tv aren't you  
  
 **little lion** : there's so many fucking cords  
  
 **laf** : godspeed love  
  
 **little lion** : I'm gonna die here  
  
 **little lion** : JOHN ISNT HELPING ME  
  
 **johnn:** I don't know?? which cords are which??  
  
 **little lion** : kill us  
  
 **laf** : oh wait I have a picture of the back of our tv!!  
  
 **little lion** : w h y  
  
 **laf** : to prevent this from happening  
  
 **little lion** : oh my god I l o v e you  
  
 **laf:** love you too dear  
  
 **laf** : also hercules is like  
  
 **laf** : organizing our clothes  
  
 **laf** : but he does it without pausing?? like it's scary efficient but like terrifying and also impressive  
  
 **laf** : I kind of want to make out with him  
  
 **laf** : correction: I REALLY want to make out with him  
  
 **little lion** : how is he organizing it??  
  
 **laf** : like we each get our own section and then it's by color and it's honestly super aesthetically pleasing  
  
 **laf** : it's like a gradient of colors and he did it so it like all looks like one gradient flows into another  
  
 **little lion** : it Sounds pretty  
  
 **little lion** : we have tv set up!!  
  
 **laf** : yay!!  
  
 **little lion** : now time to find the box all of the stuff for the bathroom is in   
  
**little lion** : among the sea of boxes we have in here  
  
 **laf** : good luck  
  
 **little lion** : thanks love  
  
\---  
  
 **little lion** : not to be That Husband  
  
 **little lion** : but why do we n e e d 26 shower puffs  
  
 **laf** : I  
  
 **laf** : 26??  
  
 **little lion** : YEAH  
  
 **laf** : I thought it was 20 last time I counted??  
  
 **laf:** idk we're not really washcloth people   
  
**little lion** : I know but like  
  
 **little lion** : t w e n t y  s i x  
  
 **laf** : fair point  
  
 **laf** : oh also me and john are unpacking the living room now and we literally own three separate dreamgirls dvds   
  
**little lion** : can we like chill for two seconds   
  
**laf** : probably not  
  
 **little lion** : god bless us literally  
  
 **laf** : rt  
  
\---  
  
 **little lion** : I have Officially posted something on instagram  
  
 **johnn** : REALLY  
  
 **little lion** : YES  
  
 **johnn** : WHAT IS HERCULES DOING  
  
 **little lion** : HE LITERALLY WALKED IN THE SHOWER AND JUST STARTED DANCING IN IT I DONT KNOW BUT IT WAS CUTE  
  
 **johnn** : IT IS!!  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : tfw you have post notifs on for alex now   
  
**johnn** : same  
  
 **laf** : rt  
  
 **little lion** : this is a rare occurence so no need  
  
 **laf** : just in case  
  
 **johnn** : rt  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : rt  
  
 **little lion** : I love you all sm  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : love you too!!  
  
 **johnn** : love you!!  
  
 **laf:** love you alex!!  
  
 **little lion** : !!!  
  
\---  
  
 **little lion** : okay wait  
  
 **little lion** : you all have So Many photos of me and all of your instagrams????  
  
 **johnn** : I  
  
 **johnn** : oops??  
  
 **little lion** : THESE GO BACK TO THREE YEARS AGO OH MY GOD  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : do you want us to delete them??   
  
**little lion** : nO ITS FINE ITS JUST   
  
**little lion** : YOU ALL ARE JUST SO CUTE AND I LITERALLY AM IN TEARS OVER THIS I LVE RRGHROHGSLRGH   
  
**little lion** : IM SO HAPPY THAT I GET TO LOVE YOU   
  
**laf** : AW  
  
 **little lion** : JFKJSFGH;FGHFKSLDFKG IM SO B B IN H  
  
 **johnn** : hercules??  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : I have him   
  
**johnn** : good  
  
\---  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : THE BATHROOM IS FINISHED!!  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : TIME TO HELP WITH THE LIVING ROOM  
  
 **laf** : CAN YOU HELP ME PUT CURTAINS UP BC JOHN CANT REACH THE THING  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : OF COURSE!!  
  
 **johnn** : IM SO FUCKING BITTER  
  
 **laf** : you're smol bitter tho it's very cute  
  
 **johnn** : you can't just call me cute when I'm pouting over here   
  
**laf** : so so cute  
  
 **johnn** : HUSH  
  
\---  
  
 **johnn** : me and alex, the smols, have made dinner in our new kitchen, bc we can't reach the curtain rod thing  
  
 **johnn:** and honestly I'm not used to this stove but I'm adapting  
  
 **little lion** : let's eat!!  
  
 **laf:** yeS!!  
  
\---  
  
 **laf** : our dining table hasn't gotten here yet nor have our chairs but I feel like as soon as we have them we're still going to eat on our couch  
  
 **johnn** : probably  
  
 **laf:** :////// oh well  
  
 **johnn** : old habits die hard  
  
 **laf** : true  
  
\---  
  
 **laf** : dinner is over it's time for the First Night Here  
  
 **laf** : I have to get changed  
  
 **little lion** : you'd think that I'd be tired but now I'm Very awake  
  
 **johnn** : lmao broken spine who?  
  
 **little lion** : ,,,,,I'm also going to get changed  
  
 **little lion** : hercules where did you put my garter belts  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : in our dressers I can't remember where sorry  
  
 **little lion** : that's fine!!!  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : no but seriously how much am I going to die  
  
 **more like HUNKules** : I always have to ask  
  
 **laf** : a moderate amount  
  
 **little lion** : it's a lot I just saw it and I'm lightheaded  
  
 **johnn:** oh god  
  
\---  
  
 **laf** : first night in our new house!!  
  
 **johnn** : my body is never coming back from this I'm like dead   
  
**laf** : HA  
  
 **little lion** : literally same my thighs hurt so bad   
  
**johnn** : we wore hercules tf out he's dead asleep  
  
 **little lion** : he deserves this let him rest  
  
 **johnn:** let him rest?? honey I'm joining him g fuckin n  
  
 **little lion** : again with the honey I'm really For it  
  
 **johnn** : <3 <3 <3 goodnight  
  
 **little lion** : night john!! night lafayette!!  
  
 **laf** : goodnight love!!  
  
 **johnn** : !!!

**Author's Note:**

> this doesn't make sense at all literally like what??


End file.
